I was able to bring Aubrey home today! The battery of tests all came back negative, and she was officially diagnosed with hypothermia. Purely due to her prematurity, not to any infection, she lost the ability to keep herself warm. If you think about it, her body really shouldn't have to control it's own temperature yet -- she should still be nice and cozy in my perfectly heated belly for 3 more weeks. =) So I'm grateful to have her home, albeit nervous about all the "what ifs" and "maybes" that may be around the corner.
I was thinking today as I drove to the hospital, "Lord, this just isn't what I would have chosen." Having a baby 11 weeks early. And having that baby in and out of the hospital. My dear aunt miles away suffering and dying from advanced stage 4 lung cancer. The pain of watching my grandparents lose their second child, my mom her second sibling. Missing my sister's baby shower. Missing a lot of my sister-in-laws' wedding. I don't want any of it. But then I remembered something I had read somewhere:
God's will for me is exactly what I would choose if I knew what God knows.
It's because of this that I don't need to fear what is around the corner. I don't even need to carry the burden of my circumstances alone. This is what I'm seeking to remember and need to be reminded of in the days ahead.
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."
Isaiah 26:3
3 comments:
So glad you are home! Brie is so adorable and precious! Thanks for your example of trusting God even when it's hard. love you!!
We have been anxiously awaiting this news! So glad to hear you are all home again, safe and sound. We will continue to pray for strength for you, Sena, and health for that beautiful baby girl!
Made me cry. love you so much.
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